A Response to Cap’s Vile Cyclist Article

Recently ReRack’s scaliest lizard, Sir Cap, wrote an article bashing cyclists. Truly baffling. How could you hate a cyclist? Who doesn’t just love taking a nice bike ride on a beautiful spring day. There is nothing like biking down a path as the wind slowly caresses your face. Going on a nice long bike ride makes you forget about everything else going on in the world. At least that is for most people. For Cap it triggers potential road rage. I would advise reading his very investing article, in which he says he wishes he could just run us innocent cyclist loving people off the road.

Caps Horrendous Article

Let me try and reason with Cap. He clearly has a misguided hatred for some fun loving humans. For arguments sake lets eliminate the biking industry. Outlaw anyone riding a bike. You could not hold a job in the biking industry any more. This would kill the amines joy of smelling the sweet sent of dandelions as you stroll elegantly by on your bike. It would also put millions of people in poverty and jeopardize the economy. How you might ask? Well Cap that is what happens when you eliminate a multi billion dollar industry. According to Grand View Research, the bicycle market size will be worth more then 75 billion dollars by 2025. Economies all over the world would crumble if we lived in Cap’s perfect world. A single mother might not get the healthcare she needs to make sure her premature baby is taken care of. Your grand father might no longer have access to clean water. A father might not be able to afford dog food for his diabetic dog any more. Cap’s car might hit a pot hole on the parkway and flip over, as the world plunges into chaos due to the funding lost by the missing market.

This leads me to only one logical conclusion. How could anyone hate cyclists? They provide a massive market. They are a fun loving people. The only way someone hates a cyclist if jealousy. Jealousy of the fact they cannot participate if the splendors of a long ride on the boardwalk. Cap hates bikers because he cannot ride a bike. Recently I asked him to submit a video of him riding a bike, which he did not (If you do not believe me, ask ReRack president Connor Cassiday). So Cap I challenge you to a bike race. A 3 mile race. I just will not stand for the blasphemy you put out. Winner gets to shoot the other with a paint ball gun.


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